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How to find your perfect Man:

Dear Abby always said that husbands don't leave their wives for the other woman - mine did, and he married her. Suddenly single at thirty-eight, I looked for refuge in my work. Work helped me forget my painful divorce. I suppose I could have been interested in a partner, but for three years I was not attracted to anyone I met. A friend of mine had just been to a workshop called "How To Find Your Perfect Mate". She cautioned that if I did not feel worthy enough to have my perfect partner, or did not believe wholeheartedly that he was on his way, this was not the time to go forward with the process. She described the steps this way: 1. Make a long list of attributes you'd like in your partner 2. Study the list carefully and pare the number down to about fifteen qualities that are essential to you in a mate 3. Review that list again to see if you have all those qualities you are seeking in someone else (This is the time for your own personal growth) 4. Create an open space in your life for this person to come in by freeing yourself from dead-end relationships and casual dates 5. Be in gratitude to your Higher Power for your perfect mate is on the way . You won't need to seek your partner out or force the process along. You can watch as events unfold and not be concerned about the outcome. You can relax now. I was ready to make my list. It included such things as: A spiritual man, a man with a good sense of humor, a man who makes a difference in the world by what he does, a man who is loyal, a man I respect, a man who wants to live on the water, and a man who knows how to take good care of his lady.

As I drove to work each day, I felt grace wash over me as I expressed my gratitude in how Spirit was working in my life. It was an inside-out process of looking at who I was and what I wanted to create in my life. I was able to see my future and rejoice. And instead of just looking for my perfect mate, I began working on myself to become the kind of partner I wanted in return. During this time, I was attending a management development class at the hospital where I worked. Eric, our consultant, was teaching us about mission, vision, values, and partnership.

I really admired his work. I also admired his cute buns. However, my thoughts did not go any further because at nearly five feet eight inches tall, I envisioned a taller man, perhaps six feet. Eric was coming in at 5 feet7 inches. I continued identifying my personal and professional values as I attended Eric's class. Personally, I decided I would never again be in a marriage that had no spiritual foundation or shared values. I also met with a psychic for the fun of it, and he asked me "How do you feel about short men?"  My response was "Do I have to?" He went on to say that my life partner really knew how to take care of his lady, was highly intelligent, and there was something about a country club. He said our courtship would be easy.

Months later, I hired Eric to do a weekend team-building at the beach for my staff. He offered to drive me there so we could plan the session. During casual conversation, I asked him the location of his office, in a city two hours from me. He told me his office was on Country Club Road. During that weekend, we noticed each other in a new way. There was attraction there, but neither of us knew what to do with it. He asked if he could drive me home - it was only four hours out of his way. On the way home, I worked up the courage to tell him I was attracted to him. Fortunately, he felt the same toward me. When Eric walked me to the door, he looked very confused. Later, he told me he hadn't known whether to kiss me or shake my hand. We compromised on a hug. He had a rule that you don't date your clients. But he didn't know that Divine Providence was moving in.

He found himself calling my boss the next week to ask permission to date me. After a year's courtship, during which Eric caught up with what I already knew, one hundred friends and our four sons joined in celebrating our wedding and in blessing our house on the water. If I had not gone through the process of identifying and living my own values, I could not have asked for them in another person. OK, so I forgot to put "a tall man" on my list. But if I had, I may have missed Eric, my "Find Your Perfect Mate" guy. He may be short in stature, but he's a giant in the way he lives his life and in the way he takes care of his lady.

From the Book: Chocolate for a Woman's Soul

by: Kay Allenbaugh

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Woman In Love by Chris Norman

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